sometimes I am caught in a groove that runs deep in my brain,violently trembling and drowning in pain,
in that trapped and helpless place into which I am drawn, again and again.
but now aware
of the pain that I often think that comes from out there,
slowly l learn
that it's mostly the feelings in me that make me tumble and turn,
from something that happened a long time ago,
and what's left broken in me needs tenderness so,
I sand down the edges, an inch at a time,
what once seemed huge walls that kept me in line,
I polish smooth the darkness to a luster and shine,
to an opalescent reflection of the colors of the skies,
as a new world shimmers with tears in my eyes,
my body and mind finally at ease,
finally understanding the nature of this so called disease.